Around my house, someone is always telling jokes. Sometimes they are genuinely funny. More often they are wacky or downright senseless. My favorite come from my 2 1/2 year old. He seems to have inherited some cannibalistic traits. Every one of his jokes ends with the listener being eaten. He tells them with a glitter in his eye, and ends with a fit of maniacal laughter. I am pretty sure he gets this from his father.
A few of Little-man's jokes:

Why do you call a crocodile?
So he can EAT YOU!

What does a cat say to a dog?
I'm going to EAT YOU!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To EAT YOU! (Bet you didn't see that coming?)

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Children
Children who?
Children will EAT YOU!

Now this last one gave me pause. There are a lot of children in this house... I'm pretty sure none of them know how to light the Barbeque...


In case you want to give your kids some jokes that don't involve getting eaten, here are some cute Bible jokes:


Q: In what part of the Bible is baseball mentioned?
A: in the big-inning

Q: Who was the only man in the Bible who did nothave a father?
A: Joshua the son of Nun!

Q: What is greater than God? More evil than Satan? Rich people need it, poor people have it, and if you eat it you will die.
A: Nothing!

Q: Who designed Noah's ark?
A: An ark-itect!

Have fun!

This is my first attempt at "blogging" my curriculum. I am hopeful it will print out well, but would love to hear feedback as to how it prints, as well as formatting it so it is easy to use. Please be patient as I get it right. :)

A few words before you begin:
This Bible curriculum is designed to be done with a 2nd-3rd grade child, but is very easily modified to include children in K-5th grade, so should be easily used with multiple children at once.
The daily reading is from the Contemporary English Version and is at about a 3rd grade reading level. The memory verse is from the New King James Version as that is the version I work from in my life, and eventually the one I want my children to know. Feel free to use whatever version you are most comfortable with.
You will need to get a large posterboard and draw a T-chart on it. Label one side Wisdom and the other side Foolishness. You will use this with your child to discuss the character issues brought up in Proverbs. Core character issues will be listed at the bottom of the daily reading. Ask your child if he can think of anything in the reading that discussed wise character, what about foolish character? Once your child has written as many on the chart as he can think of, go ahead and list the rest, asking him if they are an example of wisdom or foolishness. If your child is not writing well yet, you can write on the board for them. Continue the discussion as you move through the day and see examples in your life, on TV, at the grocery store. Help your child learn to discern wisdom from foolishness when he sees it.
ü Save this chart! We will use it throughout Proverbs, and then continue it as we introduce the commandments and statutes next year.
Print out some kind of sticker chart (whatever interests your children) and give a sticker at the end of each week to each child who can successfully recite the memory verse. Have a special reward ready for completion of the chart.




Week 1: Monday
Vocabulary:
Knowledge is all the things you know and all the things you learn.
Look at the root word know. Know has a silent “k” start. Here are two other words with a silent “k” start. Read them aloud: knife knock
Every time you see the word knowledge in this week’s reading, highlight it yellow.
Now you write it:
Knowledge

_____________________________________________
Wisdom is using the things you know to do the right thing at the right time.
Every time you see the word wisdom in this week’s reading, highlight it green.
Now you write it:
Wisdom

_____________________________________________

Tell a story of a time when you did the right thing.
What knowledge did you have?
How did you use wisdom?
Memory verse:
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: But fools despise wisdom and instruction. -Proverbs 1:7

Daily Reading:

Proverbs 1: How Proverbs Can Be Used
1These are the Proverbs of King Solomon of Israel, the son of David.
2Proverbs will teach you wisdom and self-control and how to understand sayings with deep meanings.
3You will learn what is right and honest and fair.
4From these, an ordinary person can learn to be smart, and young people can gain knowledge and good sense.
5If you are already wise, you will become even wiser. And if you are smart, you will learn to understand
6Proverbs and sayings, as well as words of wisdom and all kinds of riddles.
7Respect and obey the LORD! This is the beginning of knowledge. Only a fool rejects wisdom and good advice.
Character Points: Self Control, Honesty, Fairness, Common Sense, Understanding, Respect, Obedience.






Week 1: Tuesday
Project:
Treasure Chest: This project is from http://www.dltkkids.com/. You will need an empty shoe box, some black and yellow construction paper, red velvet or felt for lining, a printer, scissors, glue and something to color with.
Explain that our treasure is the word of God, and that we are to write it upon our hearts. That is why we will collect it in our Treasure Box.

1. Cover the shoe box with black construction paper (all sides). Use enough glue that when we slit open the top the paper will stick.
2. Glue a piece of yellow or red construction paper, velvet, felt or tissue paper to the inside of the "lid" and chest (so it looks like a nice velvety lining)
3. Now comes the fun part! Print out the templates. (http://www.dltkkids.com/)
4. Color the pieces, as necessary and cut them out
5. Cut 1/2 inch strips from yellow construction paper and glue them to all the edges of the treasure chest.
6. Glue the lock onto the front of the chest
7. Glue the handles onto the sides of the chest.
8. Glue the verse below to the top of the chest. (Instead of the Keep Out template)

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also -Matthew 6:21
9. OPTIONAL: Glue sequins, fake jewels or painted rocks onto the lid for a jewel encrusted treasure chest
10. OPTIONAL: Print the key template to have a key for your treasure chest. You may wish to glue the template to some cardboard before your cut it out to make it more durable.
11. Print out weekly memory verse and put it in the treasure chest!




Week 1: Wednesday
Vocabulary:
Teachings are the things that other people can teach you.

When you see a long word like teachings, look for blends you know. Do you see the ‘ing’? What about the ‘ch’? And ‘ea’? Draw a circle around the blends you know in the following words. Then read them aloud.
Teachings Meanings Knowledge Warnings
When you see the word teachings in today’s reading, highlight it yellow
Now you write it:
teachings


_____________________________________________
Sinners are people who do not try to obey God.
When you see the word sinners in today’s reading, highlight it green
Now you write it:
sinners


______________________________________________
Are all teachings good? Whose teachings should we obey? Whose should we ignore?


Daily Reading:
Proverbs 1: Warnings against Bad Friends
8My child, obey the teachings of your parents,
9and wear their teachings as you would a lovely hat or a pretty necklace.
10Don't be tempted by sinners or listen
11when they say, "Come on! Let's gang up and kill somebody, just for the fun of it!
12They're well and healthy now, but we'll finish them off once and for all.
13We'll take their valuables and fill our homes with stolen goods.
14If you join our gang, you'll get your share."
15Don't follow anyone like that or do what they do.
16They are in a big hurry to commit some crime, perhaps even murder.
17They are like a bird that sees the bait, but ignores the trap.
18They gang up to murder someone, but they are the victims.
19The wealth you get from crime robs you of your life.
Character points: Obedience to parents, murder, stealing.

Week 1: Thursday
Project:
Origami Hat: You will need a piece of paper about the size of a newspaper (20” square). You will also need scissors and crayons or markers.
Explain that we sometimes wear hats or necklaces to make ourselves beautiful (or handsome as the case may be), but the Bible says that obedience to your parents makes you as beautiful on the inside as wearing hats or jewelry on the outside. While we can impress other people with our outer beauty, God is only impressed with the beauty of our heart. This hat will help remind us where true beauty comes from.

Start by making a square piece of paper. To start making the square, fold one corner of a piece of paper over to the adjacent side.

To finish making the square, cut off the small rectangle, forming a square (which is already folded into a triangle).

Position the triangle so that the fold (the long side) is on top.
Fold one top corner of the triangle over so that it touches the bottom corner.
Do the same with the other corner.

Fold both of the tips up (fold at the dotted line pictured on the left), so that they go to the top.

Fold each of the upward-pointing tips outwards. Fold along the dotted line pictured on the left.

There are now two large triangles on the bottom. Fold the uppermost triangle most of the way up over the top half of the hat.

Fold the remaining strip of the triangle up and over the top part of the hat.

Fold the other large triangle up and into the hat.

Decorate your hat with crayons or markers.
Print out the memory verse:
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: But fools despise wisdom and instruction. -Proverbs 1:7


Cut it out and glue it to the front of the hat.



Week 1: Friday
Vocabulary:
Sneering is laughing at something you hate
When you see the word sneering in today’s reading highlight it yellow.
Now you write it:
sneering


_____________________________________________
Self-satisfaction is believing that you are good enough by yourself.
The line connecting the two words is called a hyphen. A hyphen is sometimes used to connect a prefix to a noun or adjective. ‘Pre’ means “before”, ‘fix’ means “attached”, so a prefix is something that is attached before the word. In this word, satisfaction is the noun. The word self is the prefix. In the following words, circle the prefix and underline the noun or adjective:
self-serving all-knowing ex-runner self-taught
Sometimes prefixes do not have hyphens. See if you can find the prefix in these words:
unhappy superhero rename nonfat
When you see the word self-satisfaction in today’s reading, highlight it green.
Now you write it:
self-satisfaction

__________________________________________
Where should our satisfaction (happiness) come from?


Daily Reading:
Proverbs 1: Wisdom Speaks
20Wisdom shouts in the streets wherever crowds gather.
21She shouts in the marketplaces and near the city gates as she says to the people,
22"How much longer will you enjoy being stupid fools? Won't you ever stop sneering and laughing at knowledge?
23Listen as I correct you and tell you what I think.
24You completely ignored me and refused to listen;
25you rejected my advice and paid no attention when I warned you.
26"So when you are struck by some terrible disaster,
27or when trouble and distress surround you like a whirlwind, I will laugh and make fun.
28You will ask for my help, but I won't listen; you will search, but you won't find me.
29No, you would not learn, and you refused to respect the LORD.
30You rejected my advice and paid no attention when I warned you.
31"Now you will eat the fruit of what you have done, until you are stuffed full with your own schemes.
32Sin and self-satisfaction bring destruction and death to stupid fools.
33But if you listen to me, you will be safe and secure without fear of disaster."
Character points: Hates knowledge, refuses to listen to God, disrespectful, sin, self-satisfaction.